“I would still love them all the same, Jac-kie, no matter how they chose to live their lives.” Rea said in a very matter-of-fact tone.
“When that leukemia finally got the best of Cedric I thought I was going to die. A mother should never have to bury one of her own, it’s unnatural. But in my misery the Lord showed me how blessed I was. There are so many women who can’t have children, or children causing them a bunch of grief. But we all got good kids. No, we got great kids. Not one of us has ever had to go down to the jail house or morgue over something our kids done did. Not one of these kids has given us cause to hold our heads down in this community. So what if one of them happens to be different. Big Damn Deal, Sorry Ma”
My mother looked as if she had aged 10 years since the beginning of the conversation. Her hazel eyes, that normally looked as if she had a candle burning behind her iris, were unusually dim.
“What do you have to say about all of this Mae,” Lane asked compassionately.
“I don’t want to discuss it. Whether I or any of y’all will have to discuss it one day or not, I don’t want to discuss it today,” Mae said as she looked affirmatively into the eyes of each of her sistas, wondering why Jackie looked as if she were desperately trying to fight back tears.
“Well that is that, anybody hungry,” Big Mama said as she rose to her feet and headed to the kitchen, dragging Rea along with her like a disobedient child.
“Home cooked meals won’t cure everything”, Lane murmured as she walked toward the kitchen alongside Mae.
My mother, normally outspoken overly opinionated, still sat quietly, frozen, like Rea when Credic let go of her hand for the last time. Mae never decided to discuss “It” and neither did my mother.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
As only sistas can Part 2 of 3...short story
“Mae knows I love her, and y’all know I love Ricki to death, but that boy is about to be 16 and this is something we need to talk about. Ain’t no need for us to have these family meetings if we can’t keep it real.”
“Ricki ain’t no faggot”, Mae murmured almost inaudibly. Mae looked as if she had just been pouched by E. Holified, all the color had washed out of her face and her mouth hung half way open, as if she were finding it difficult to breath.
“I knew this was a bad idea from the start”, shouted Big Mama rising to her feet headed in Mae’s direction to offer comfort as only a Big Mama can. “Family meetings, paying dues, sharing your feelings, who ever heard of such a thing! Y’all need to keep your feelings to yourself and your mouths closed and let God handle the rest.”
“Mama this is healthy,” Lane said.
Big Mama froze in mid stride as if someone yelled “stop or I’ll shot”, and everyone again felt that uncomfortable silence grip the room as Big Mama slowly turned in Lane’s direction. Ain’t nothing healthy about calling your sister’s child “different”, said Big Mama in a slow deliberate tone.
“Mama, I’m just saying what’s on my mind and what I know has crossed y’alls’ minds at one point or another.”
“Every since you came home from Spelman you think you gotta tell everrrrrrrrrrybody what’s on your mind,” snapped Big Mama. “Spelman may have thought you a lot but you still got a lot to learn. Now apologize to your sista and this is not a request.”
“Sorry Mae”, Lane said, with a touch of sincerity, a pinch of fear and a barrel-full of embarrassment. Although Lane was approaching her thirtieth birthday, her mother’s eyes and tone transformed her into a twelve year old.
“Mama, all I am saying is that we need to talk about this so we can be there for the boy and give him the support that only his family can. Or would y’all whether wait until you find the suicide note and discuss it at his funeral.”
“Oh, Lane please, that boy ain’t going nowhere”, said Rea
“I betca that’s what Nicholas’ family thought too, and we see what happen to him.”
“Y’all hear dat”, asked Big Mama in a suspicious tone.
“Hear what?” responded Lane.
“Sound like something at dat door.” replied Big Mama
“My heart dropped.” My feet became paralyzed. Big Mama was not the passive-overly affectionate kind of grandmother like the one cast in the movie Soul Food. In fact, her most often quoted scripture was spare the rod spoil the child. She had no qualms with beating the hell out of one of her grandbabies for being mouthy or meddling in grown folks business. And although I knew I was her favorite, not even Jesus Christ in the flesh could save me from her wrath if she caught me listening at the door.
“Mama that’s the wind,” said Lane
Ooo, saved.
“Who’s Nicholas?” questioned Aunt Rea.
“You remember, the boy who was in my English class that committed suicide in the locker room at Craigmont.”
“Ooo, that’s different, he was white,” said Rea nonchalantly.
“Rea, I am not even going to go there with you,” Lane snapped.
“Jackie, why you so quiet over there, don’t you have something to say,” asked Rea.
My mother looked up with a dazed look in her eyes with tension lines forming on her forehead.
“I am sorry, what did you say, Rea.”
“I saidddddddddddd why are you over there acting like the cat got your tongue.”
Even though she couldn’t see me listening and peeping under the door, I could tell by the distress in her voice that I was at the front of her mind.
“That’s Mae’s business,” mama said.
“Well, I for one wouldn’t care,” announced Rea.
“That’s because all your kids are married and got babies of their own,” my mother whispered, unfortunately not low enough to escape Rea’s hearing.
“Ricki ain’t no faggot”, Mae murmured almost inaudibly. Mae looked as if she had just been pouched by E. Holified, all the color had washed out of her face and her mouth hung half way open, as if she were finding it difficult to breath.
“I knew this was a bad idea from the start”, shouted Big Mama rising to her feet headed in Mae’s direction to offer comfort as only a Big Mama can. “Family meetings, paying dues, sharing your feelings, who ever heard of such a thing! Y’all need to keep your feelings to yourself and your mouths closed and let God handle the rest.”
“Mama this is healthy,” Lane said.
Big Mama froze in mid stride as if someone yelled “stop or I’ll shot”, and everyone again felt that uncomfortable silence grip the room as Big Mama slowly turned in Lane’s direction. Ain’t nothing healthy about calling your sister’s child “different”, said Big Mama in a slow deliberate tone.
“Mama, I’m just saying what’s on my mind and what I know has crossed y’alls’ minds at one point or another.”
“Every since you came home from Spelman you think you gotta tell everrrrrrrrrrybody what’s on your mind,” snapped Big Mama. “Spelman may have thought you a lot but you still got a lot to learn. Now apologize to your sista and this is not a request.”
“Sorry Mae”, Lane said, with a touch of sincerity, a pinch of fear and a barrel-full of embarrassment. Although Lane was approaching her thirtieth birthday, her mother’s eyes and tone transformed her into a twelve year old.
“Mama, all I am saying is that we need to talk about this so we can be there for the boy and give him the support that only his family can. Or would y’all whether wait until you find the suicide note and discuss it at his funeral.”
“Oh, Lane please, that boy ain’t going nowhere”, said Rea
“I betca that’s what Nicholas’ family thought too, and we see what happen to him.”
“Y’all hear dat”, asked Big Mama in a suspicious tone.
“Hear what?” responded Lane.
“Sound like something at dat door.” replied Big Mama
“My heart dropped.” My feet became paralyzed. Big Mama was not the passive-overly affectionate kind of grandmother like the one cast in the movie Soul Food. In fact, her most often quoted scripture was spare the rod spoil the child. She had no qualms with beating the hell out of one of her grandbabies for being mouthy or meddling in grown folks business. And although I knew I was her favorite, not even Jesus Christ in the flesh could save me from her wrath if she caught me listening at the door.
“Mama that’s the wind,” said Lane
Ooo, saved.
“Who’s Nicholas?” questioned Aunt Rea.
“You remember, the boy who was in my English class that committed suicide in the locker room at Craigmont.”
“Ooo, that’s different, he was white,” said Rea nonchalantly.
“Rea, I am not even going to go there with you,” Lane snapped.
“Jackie, why you so quiet over there, don’t you have something to say,” asked Rea.
My mother looked up with a dazed look in her eyes with tension lines forming on her forehead.
“I am sorry, what did you say, Rea.”
“I saidddddddddddd why are you over there acting like the cat got your tongue.”
Even though she couldn’t see me listening and peeping under the door, I could tell by the distress in her voice that I was at the front of her mind.
“That’s Mae’s business,” mama said.
“Well, I for one wouldn’t care,” announced Rea.
“That’s because all your kids are married and got babies of their own,” my mother whispered, unfortunately not low enough to escape Rea’s hearing.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
As only sistas can Part 1 of 3...short story
This is a short story that I wrote...It's in two parts, let me get your thoughts.....
“Well I think it is down right nasty”, grunted Aunt Macy, “Mae” for short amongst the family. “Two grown men lying up together. Ash on top of crusty ash.”
My mother sat quietly.
“Did you see how they were acting the other day on Oprah”, murmured Mae as she reached into her dress to loosen her bra and wipe the August sweat from up under her arm. “Acting like they were all in love, hugging and kissing, you know I had a mind to write Miss Thang and tell her a thing or two.”
“Yeah, I saw that episode Mae”, chimed in Aunt Rea, my mother’s oldest sista, “but I have to admit, they did seem pretty happy together. They had bought a nice house and didn’t they say they had been together for about 10 years now.”
“10 years”, shouted Mae, “he was with his wife for damn near 20 before that home-wrecker came up on da scene. I tell you the truth, these people need to be ….“Watch it, Mae.” interrupted Big Mama. “This is a holy house.”
“Goodness, Mae, you acting like you scared James bout to break you off a bit of surprising news,” joked Aunt Rea.
Aunt Lane, my mother’s closest sibling, leaned over to my mother and whispered in her ear almost inaudibly, “It ain’t James she worried about.” Lane’s words sent shivers through my mother’s spine like a chilly breeze off the Pacific. It wasn’t James that my mother was worried about either.
“Well I am just saying. They had two beautiful kids and a nice home, that poor woman.”
Big Mama, sitting with a somewhat defeated posture, sat a little slumped over in her chair, staring aimlessly into space, wishing that Rea and Mae would change the subject. The mysterious knot that had formed in her stomach the moment Mae opened her mouth on the subject was becoming unbearable, and she couldn’t even pinpoint why it was there.
“That poooor woman, hasn’t let those two beautiful kids see their loving father in ten years, and you know that ain’t right. She even said herself that he was a good father and provider. Mae, you saw with your own eyes, that youngest girl was in tears when they interviewed her begging to see her daddy.”
“Serves him right!” Snapped Mae.
“Oh Mae, be quite!” said Aunt Lane.
“Don’t start with me Lane, I ain’t in the mood!”
“You ain’t never in the mood. That’s probably why you keep that sour look on your face. Like you smelling shit all the time.”
“O-K”, chuckled aunt Rea, in a high pitched tone imitating the urban girls that come weekly to her shop to get their “dos” fried dyed and laid to the side.
“Lane, have you lost your mind, apologize to ya sista”, admonished Big Mama.
I ain’t paying her no attention, responded Mae.
“Sorry Ma, but Mae needs to come off it, cause we all know that this is something she is gonna to have to face one day, so she better get hip.”
Uncomfortable silence gripped the room as Lane’s comments took root.
“Ouuuu, You done went to far this time Lane”, Rea said.
My mother continued to sit quietly in the corner, as if she were afraid that the conversation would turn on her at any minute.
to be continued.
“Well I think it is down right nasty”, grunted Aunt Macy, “Mae” for short amongst the family. “Two grown men lying up together. Ash on top of crusty ash.”
My mother sat quietly.
“Did you see how they were acting the other day on Oprah”, murmured Mae as she reached into her dress to loosen her bra and wipe the August sweat from up under her arm. “Acting like they were all in love, hugging and kissing, you know I had a mind to write Miss Thang and tell her a thing or two.”
“Yeah, I saw that episode Mae”, chimed in Aunt Rea, my mother’s oldest sista, “but I have to admit, they did seem pretty happy together. They had bought a nice house and didn’t they say they had been together for about 10 years now.”
“10 years”, shouted Mae, “he was with his wife for damn near 20 before that home-wrecker came up on da scene. I tell you the truth, these people need to be ….“Watch it, Mae.” interrupted Big Mama. “This is a holy house.”
“Goodness, Mae, you acting like you scared James bout to break you off a bit of surprising news,” joked Aunt Rea.
Aunt Lane, my mother’s closest sibling, leaned over to my mother and whispered in her ear almost inaudibly, “It ain’t James she worried about.” Lane’s words sent shivers through my mother’s spine like a chilly breeze off the Pacific. It wasn’t James that my mother was worried about either.
“Well I am just saying. They had two beautiful kids and a nice home, that poor woman.”
Big Mama, sitting with a somewhat defeated posture, sat a little slumped over in her chair, staring aimlessly into space, wishing that Rea and Mae would change the subject. The mysterious knot that had formed in her stomach the moment Mae opened her mouth on the subject was becoming unbearable, and she couldn’t even pinpoint why it was there.
“That poooor woman, hasn’t let those two beautiful kids see their loving father in ten years, and you know that ain’t right. She even said herself that he was a good father and provider. Mae, you saw with your own eyes, that youngest girl was in tears when they interviewed her begging to see her daddy.”
“Serves him right!” Snapped Mae.
“Oh Mae, be quite!” said Aunt Lane.
“Don’t start with me Lane, I ain’t in the mood!”
“You ain’t never in the mood. That’s probably why you keep that sour look on your face. Like you smelling shit all the time.”
“O-K”, chuckled aunt Rea, in a high pitched tone imitating the urban girls that come weekly to her shop to get their “dos” fried dyed and laid to the side.
“Lane, have you lost your mind, apologize to ya sista”, admonished Big Mama.
I ain’t paying her no attention, responded Mae.
“Sorry Ma, but Mae needs to come off it, cause we all know that this is something she is gonna to have to face one day, so she better get hip.”
Uncomfortable silence gripped the room as Lane’s comments took root.
“Ouuuu, You done went to far this time Lane”, Rea said.
My mother continued to sit quietly in the corner, as if she were afraid that the conversation would turn on her at any minute.
to be continued.
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