In the blink of an eye

OMG, I may have finally found the one....NO JOKE.... I know those of you I call friends have heard me say this a million times over, but this time is the first time I wasn’t “guesstimating” how “love” should feel. Yes, I said LOVE. Mind you, it has only been two weeks and for four of the fourteen days, I was out of town, but I’m trying to be one of those “glass half full people”..(which is harder than it sounds being that I was raised by a “glass damn near empty, got a crack and was dirty before you even poured water in it” kind of mother).

He is everything I have ever wanted in partner, at least his “representative” is and that is enough for me (my mother’s sarcastic voice in the back of my head, “for now”). My aunt once told me that the representative can last for 20 years, which turned out to be a negative for her since she was married for 50 years. But I’m not my aunt; I figure, if I can get 20 years of the last “two weeks”, Imma count myself among the blessed.

The best part about it was that for the first time in my life, I wasn’t even looking (hard). I saw him in a club, gave him OBVIOUS eye contact and of course, like all gay men do in the club, he ignored me. So like the crazy psychotic bitch you know me to be, I walked up to him and said, “I know you saw me looking at you and I know I am looking 10 times better then any of these moongoose up in this club, so STOP trippin.” My expectation was for him to say “Fuck U” (by this point I was in my man-hating, club-hating, “don’t give a damn say what’s on my mind” mood). Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised, he just started laughing uncontrollably. Go figure.

I love a man who can laugh at himself and who does not take himself too seriously. We chit chatted for a while and exchanged numbers. My normal self would have stayed at the club until it closed watching him from a corner to see who else he was trying to holla at while he thought I wasn’t looking (which would have been NEVER, another trait I got from my mama, “eyes in the front, back and sides of my head”. As a child we thought mama’s wigs were an extra set of eyes). The new me(at least the “new me” that week, or maybe it was the me that can no longer spend longer than an hour and a half in a crowded club) said goodnight and left early.

Before leaving, we agreed to meet up on Sunday for our 1st date. Of course you know the fool didn’t call and I ended up going out with another beau on Sunday instead. Nevertheless, to my complete surprise, he called on Monday to apologize and offer an “alleged” good excuse for missing our date and to beg my pardon and request my presence for dinner, “his treat.”...Needless to say, he had me at free food. (I think when I am 40, Imma stop dating food).

The rest is xoxo.

Epilogue: It didn't work out; we are over; still “alleged” friends. I am back on the market.